floating

[americasuitehearts]

im floating. nothing feels real. it’s not a great feeling, but im okay. i could just die right now and id be just fine. my body isn’t connected to my soul and these words are the only thing keeping me grounded. im so small— a wired ball curled up on itself, too scared to make a decision. everything i do is for nothing because i am nothing. all my past choices are useless and soon ill wake up. this isn’t real. im not real. this body is just bloody meat wrapped around hollow bones. we are all just meat and bones. the days tick down and i can’t help but feel like nothing will change. the countdown to the end of the world goes off just to reveal that it’s been destroyed this whole time. i hate my body. i hate this body. i hate and i hate and i love too deeply yet not enough. thumbs against glass will never be the same as graphite smeared against the side of my hand. if i tap hard enough maybe it/i will finally break. this is a dream and all i want to do is wake up.